Alive

from by Apres Pompeii

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lyrics

I've been getting to an age, when roots should be reaching. I see a boy on the promenade and his hands are reaching. His father's arms are anchor ropes, no his hands aren't shaking. I had a dream in black and white, with a lover by me sleeping soundly. The sun nuzzled me awake and I slipped out quiet to make some coffee. We drank it on our covered porch and that was everything, oh, that was all. I woke alone knowing why, oh my hands were shaking. No the future's not for me--Sisyphus don't dare to dream. I'm in love with brick and ivy. I'm tickled by tree branches and church spires. The sun pours light on the top of the clouds, the sun pours light on me, and life is unceasingly lovely so why don't I want to be ALIVE? Every morning I wake up and I feel like I'm rolling myself to the top of this mountain overlooking the sea and it's a shear drop to the jagged rocks below and I look down with my head unsettled and the ocean is rolling on as far as I can see and it's beautiful and endless and it's everything I am not but I can see myself a part of it--body on the rocks opened up like a shot through basket of fruit and I like the look of my blood diluting into sea foam but only for an instant--then I'm clutching my breast and pulling me back knowing all too well I'll be in the same familiar space tomorrow morning inching myself ever closer to the edge. I spent an evening with a friend and the drinks were flowing and I felt bright and full of life. I felt the lightness melt away as I drove homeward less than sober. I heard the guardrail call my name and I started saying, oh aloud I was saying. "I want to crash into a pole" oh, I said it again and again and again and again. No the future's not for me--Sisyphus don't dare to dream. I'm in love with brick and ivy. I'm tickled by tree branches and church spires. The sun pours light on the tops of the clouds, the sun pours light on me, and life is unceasingly lovely. But the bricks all boxed me in and the ivy clung too tight and the trees grew dead and brittle, oh, I grew dead and brittle and the church spires would damn me to fire for loving who I've loved--for loving her the way I loved her and for loving him at all. And maybe I'm just not meant for daylight but I am still ALIVE oh I am still ALIVE.

credits

from Lead, released November 11, 2016

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Apres Pompeii Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Always forward, that is the mantra.
Apres Pompeii is currently entering a new era. Gospels is an ongoing project that will take form over the whole of 2013. With a full length album and seven EPs planned for the year, the path to its completion will undoubtedly be long and toilsome. This project’s focus is on the internal struggles and relationships that inform the way we interact with the world. ... more

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